Money stress is real — here’s how we’re dealing
Ever notice how your chest tightens when you think about checking your bank account? Or how a stressful day somehow leads to an Instagram purchase you may later regret? If so, you're not the only one. The connection between money and mental health affects nearly half of Americans, creating cycles that can feel impossible to break.
In this conversation, we open up about our own financial stress triggers, share the jaw-dropping stats that made us realize this isn't just a "you problem," and explore why even simple money tasks can feel completely overwhelming when you’re struggling with your mental health. Most importantly, we offer gentle, judgment-free strategies that don't require a complete financial overhaul — just small, sustainable steps that help soften the edges of money anxiety.
📌 Time Stamps:
[00:04:00] The shocking statistics on money and mental health
[00:06:00] How financial stress and mental health affect each other
[00:07:00] Our personal experiences with stress shopping and financial avoidance
[00:09:00] Why talking about money still feels so shameful
[00:13:00] Breaking down the harmful "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality
[00:15:00] Practical, gentle strategies for managing financial stress
[00:20:00] How to start breaking your own money stress cycle
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Transcript
Emily: [00:00:00] Are you drowning in money questions, but too embarrassed to ask? Tired of scrolling endlessly through conflicting financial advice that leaves you more confused than when you started. Welcome to the Finance Girlies Podcast, your cozy corner for all things finance. I'm your host Emily,
Cassidy: And I'm your host Cassidy.
We're both finance writers for brands like Forbes Advisor, USA Today Blueprint, and Yahoo Finance. Throughout our cruise and personal lives, we have come to one realization when we keep our money worries to ourselves. We end up feeling alone. That's why each episode we tackle those burning questions you've been afraid to ask.
With no judgment, no jargon, just real talk about real money. Ready to finally get answers. Let's dive in.
Cassidy: Welcome back to the Finance Girlies podcast. We're so excited to have you here with us today.
Emily: Yeah, and we've got a really [00:01:00] important topic lined up for this episode that honestly feels more relevant than ever right now.
Cassidy: Since it's Mental Health Awareness month, we wanted to talk about the connection between money and mental health.
Emily: It’s such a perfect time to discuss this. With everything going on in the world right now… Inflation is still a thing. Interest rates have been high. The current political climate feels chaotic. There's so much debate around economic policies, but no actual support. For example, we're cutting housing assistance, food assistance, and family support programs.
It's all just creating this perfect storm of financial and general anxiety.
Cassidy: And I think that's why we're so passionate about this topic because while we can't fix the entire economy or political system, we can create this kind of safe space where we can acknowledge that yes, money, stress is real, it's affecting our mental health, and it's hitting our generation, particularly hard right now.
Emily: So I actually just had a coffee chat with someone and this conversation is really relevant to what we're talking about [00:02:00] today. So this person is a financial therapist with a background in social work and she literally helps her clients with this very connection on a daily basis. And what was absolutely jaw dropping to me was the fact that she said shortly after starting her practice, she built a wait list of more than 300 people.
Cassidy: Wow.
Emily: So clearly this is something that a lot of people are craving, this like, support for both money and mental health. And the, occupation of financial therapist she was saying is still so new, like relatively new within the last decade or so, that there aren't a lot of them and a lot of people still just like, don't really understand what that is.
But the point being that it is emerging, I think as a [00:03:00] need that clearly is out there.
Cassidy: Yeah. I also do wonder how many people know that there are financial therapists out there who like, that is their niche or their specialty, like to help you through your financial stress and stuff. Because I did not know really that financial therapists were a thing until a few years ago. I went to a personal finance conference and I sat in on this panel of experts and one of the experts was a financial therapist, and I was like, oh, I did not even know that this was a thing, but your work is so needed and so valued.
Emily: Yeah. So I think, and maybe this is something we ask for feedback on from our audience, but it'd be really cool to have a financial therapist as a guest someday for an episode. So maybe let us know if that's something you'd be interested in.
Cassidy: So we're gonna kick things off with a little gut check because it's one thing to feel like money is affecting your mental health and it's another to see just how common it actually is.
So Emily and [00:04:00] I pulled some stats to give you kind of like a money mental health reality check.
Emily: Yeah, and they're kind of a wake up call. So according to Bankrate, nearly half of Americans, or 47%, say that money negatively impacts their mental health. So we're talking about stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, and even depression.
Cassidy: And it is also not a once in a while thing. The American Psychological Association found that 72% of adults feel stressed about money some of the time while one in five, which is 20%, say the stress is extreme.
Emily: And that makes sense. If you're worried about how you're gonna pay rent or make your student loan payment or cover an unexpected bill, it's not just a numbers problem. It hits your nervous system too, and you feel it in your body. It impacts your relationships, your sleep, and even your work.
Cassidy: Yeah. And then for people already living with mental health conditions, that stress can feel even harder to navigate. We found [00:05:00] one UK study that said 63% of people with mental health challenges said it made it harder to make financial decisions, and 42% put off paying bills altogether.
Emily: And I think it's easy to hear those stats and feel kind of defeated. But the takeaway isn't that everyone is struggling. Good luck out there. It's that if money is taking a toll on your mental health, you're not imagining it and you're not being dramatic, and you're also not alone.
Cassidy: Yeah, and we also wanna kind of be like that friend in your corner reminding you that just because this is common, it doesn't mean that it's normal by any means, or that you have to just accept it. That there are ways to soften the edge. Of that stress, which is what we're going to get into today.
Emily: So let's talk next about how money and mental health are a two way street. One of the trickiest things about the money mental health connection is that it goes both ways. So by that we mean. The financial stress can make your mental health worse, but struggling with your mental health can also [00:06:00] make managing your money harder.
Cassidy: Yeah, it's kind of like this cycle where if you're dealing with anxiety or depression, just the idea of opening your bank app or looking at your bills can feel impossible, and you might avoid it altogether, not because you're lazy or bad with money, but because it feels too overwhelming to face. And then in return, that increases your anxiety or depression, which makes it even harder to then go do those things.
Emily: Or you might do what a lot of people do, which is to make really impulsive money decisions when you're stressed, just to try and feel better for a second. So this might be buying something you can't really afford or avoiding bills because they're too anxiety inducing.
Cassidy: And honestly, this is something that I kind of relate to because especially in college um, I. I did not have a lot of money by any stretch of the imagination. I was making $7.25 cents an hour, working maybe 15 to 20 hours a week. But I would still, like, anytime I felt stressed, I would be like, I'm just gonna go walk the aisles of TJ Maxx and just [00:07:00] try to find something for $20 or $30 to make myself feel better, Or even now, sometimes I, if I'm having a day that feels really hard or really sad, I'm like, we're gonna take you out to dinner and pep you up. Or I'm like, doom scrolling on Instagram and I see an ad and the algorithm has gotten so good at giving you exactly what you want, that I'm like, ooh, maybe I do actually want this. Like, maybe it'll make me feel better. And that's something I'm aware of, but it's still like, it's so hard to snap out of those when all you wanna do is kind of comfort yourself in the moment by like, buying something.
Emily: Yeah, it's really human. I think it's a really human response.
Cassidy: Yeah. And then the more overwhelmed you feel like, the harder it becomes to make good financial choices. Because another study we found said that people with mental health conditions reported struggling to understand bills, forgetting account details, or even having trouble talking to banks and service providers, and what these studies are getting at is that it's not just a motivation issue, but it's really an executive function issue, which is your [00:08:00] brain's ability to like plan, organize, and follow through on tasks.
Emily: So that means that even things that may seem small, like setting up auto pay or making a phone call to negotiate a bill can feel really daunting when you're dealing with all of that anxiety and overwhelm.
Cassidy: Mm-hmm.
Emily: One little tip we wanted to share for when you're feeling this way is if you have a simple task that feels impossible, try calling a friend.
So for instance, if you're wanting to set up auto pay, get a friend on the phone while you do that, or have a friend hype you up before you call to negotiate a bill. Having an accountability partner can just make all the difference when these things feel too hard to tackle alone.
Cassidy: Yeah, it can be really comforting to be like, will you just sit with me like on the phone while I do that thing? And then to have your friend be like, you can do it, like is really sweet. So if you have ever beaten yourself up for avoiding money stuff though, like we just want to remind you [00:09:00] that we see you like you do not have any character flaws. It's just a sign that your nervous system is trying to protect you from something that feels really scary. But it is that perpetuating cycle too, where the longer you avoid it, the bigger that anxiety grows toward that thing. So really recognizing that can help you break that pattern to some extent.
Emily: And that's why it's so important to be gentle with yourself and to find ways to take teeny tiny steps forward. So that brings us to another tip that we're calling the two minute rule. So if you're avoiding a money task, like checking your bank account, you can try setting a timer for two minutes.
And tell yourself that you're just going to look, you're not gonna make any decisions or fix anything. Because often the hardest part is just starting. So the two two minute rule makes just starting a little bit less scary.
Cassidy: Yeah, I love doing that with myself for various things like, especially for tasks that feel way too big, just being like, your only [00:10:00] goal right now is just to look at this thing. Like you don't even have to actually do anything with the information, you're just familiarizing yourself with it a little bit and that's all you have to do today, and that can really take those barriers down.
Emily: Yeah, I do that. Sometimes with writing assignments that I'm dreading.
Cassidy: Yes, yes.
Emily: Like one that feels particularly challenging, I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna, today my only goal is to like, review the brief and that's all I have to do.
Cassidy: 100%. Yeah, that's probably like our most common use case scenario for using a two minute rule or even emails. I'm like, I have no idea how to respond to this email, but like, just read it and then mark it as unread and think about it.
Emily: Yeah.
Cassidy: And that's all you need to do. You don't need to respond. Yeah. So now that we've talked about how mental health and money affect each other, let's look at who's feeling it the most because the burden is not shared equally, and there are some really stark differences when you break it down by like, gender, generation, and income.
Emily: So according to Bankrate, 51% of women say money negatively impacts their mental [00:11:00] health. Well, that, that percentage is only 42% for men. And honestly that makes sense, women tend to earn less, they carry more student loan debt and they take on more unpaid caregiving responsibilities. So of course we're more stressed.
Cassidy: It's this trifecta. And really like it's not just a poor money mindset issue. It's more structural, like we're trying to build wealth as women inside the system that wasn't built with us in mind and in the mental load of managing a household or family, it's no wonder that we end up tapped out a lot of times.
Emily: Yeah. And then generationally, millennials and Gen X are feeling this the most. 54% of Gen Xers and 50% of millennials report high levels of financial stress, again, according to Bankrate. And then meanwhile, Gen Z is just kind of entering adulthood, so they're not far behind.
Cassidy: Income also plays a huge role too. Households earning under $50,000 a year are significantly more likely to [00:12:00] say money negatively impacts their mental health. And that makes sense When your margin is razor thin, especially when inflation is high and everything is expensive it's easy for everything to really feel like a crisis.
Emily: Yeah. And then finally, globally, money is the number one reason people seek mental health treatment, which is kind of wild. One study showed that 59% of people said financial problems were what pushed them to finally get help.
Cassidy: And I think it's important to like, kind of sit with that for a second because a lot of times it's easy to just be like, money is just a number. Like I don't, I feel like one common money belief is that you shouldn't really need money or like, crave it or desire it, but money does equal stability. It equals safety and it equals survival.
And when those things feel threatened, it is very, very normal for your nervous system to respond accordingly.
Emily: Next I wanna talk [00:13:00] about why talking about money still feels so shameful. So money and mental health are two of the hardest things to talk about, and when you put them together, it's like this double taboo.
Cassidy: Totally. Money feels like a personal report card a lot of times. And then mental health still gets treated like a weakness in a lot of circles. If you're struggling with both at the same time, it's easy to feel isolated, ashamed, or like you are the one who's messing up.
Emily: And that shame can be like a huge barrier to asking for help, especially when you're dealing with something like debt. There's just so much judgment around it, even though most of us have been there or are currently dealing with debt.
Cassidy: Yeah, it's like you're supposed to be on top of everything. Even when wages are stagnant, healthcare is unaffordable and the cost of living keeps going up. Not to mention seeing ads and algorithms designed to make you want to buy nearly everything that you see every second of the day. But if you are behind on credit cards or haven't opened your student loan emails in a while, that doesn't mean you're [00:14:00] lazy or irresponsible.
Emily: I think there's this misconception that if you had just worked harder or budgeted better, you wouldn't feel this way. But mental health isn't a personal failure and neither is financial stress.
Cassidy: It's like the, pull yourself up by your bootstraps mentality.
Emily: Mmhmm.
Cassidy: Alright. Now that we've talked about how heavy this can all feel, we also want to leave you with just some practical, compassionate steps you can take if you are feeling overwhelmed by both money and mental health right now.
Emily: Because it's more about progress than perfection. No one is doing it all perfectly. Not us, not you, not your favorite financial influencer. Everyone's just doing the best with the tools they have.
Cassidy: So we were gonna walk you through a few things that have helped us when money stress starts to bubble up. So maybe they will help you too. So the first tip is just to remember like, to take one financial decision at a time. If everything feels urgent and you [00:15:00] like you're feeling stressed by a million to-dos, just pick one thing to focus on.
Maybe that's checking your credit card balance or even unsubscribing from marketing emails that make you feel like you're constantly missing out. Those tiny steps can get you very far.
Emily: The next tip is to prioritize your essentials. So if you are in a tough month financially, just focus on those things that are essential, like keeping the lights on, keeping food in the fridge, paying your rent. Everything else can wait, and it's okay to let yourself off the hook for those quote unquote important things like retirement savings.
Just know that you'll contribute to that when you can. And right now, just taking care of yourself is most important.
Cassidy: Yeah. And then if you do have the wiggle room in your budget, it can also be helpful to just create some type of like, mental health buffer or mental health category. Even if it is just $10 a month, setting aside [00:16:00] something that you can spend on. Things that bring you peace, like whether that's a therapy copay or your favorite iced latte or a yoga class, like whatever helps you feel truly relaxed, like spending money on those things too, if it's available to you, can help your nervous system feel less under attack as well.
Emily: And then if you are one of those people who is like, whose reaction is to spend money to make yourself feel better, you can try creating what we're calling a dopamine list. And for example, this list could include things like making a cup of tea, going for a walk, snuggling your dog, eating some chocolate, anything that boosts your mood similar to that boost you get when you swipe your credit card or shop online.
If you can just choose one of the items from your list and like, try that first to try to like, satisfy that feeling before spending money, you might [00:17:00] kind of even lose the urge to make that purchase.
Cassidy: I think it can also be helpful, I've heard of people doing this, like writing down their list on an index card and keeping it front and center, like whether it's at your desk or, I don't know, probably at your computer, your laptop in your phone, whatever. So whenever those feelings hit, you're not like, scrambling of like, what should I do to not send money and do the thing instead?
Like you have your index card and you can just take it and point to something and be like, this is the thing that I'm gonna do right now.
Emily: Yeah, and I can see if you're someone who is like, quick to pick up your phone to scroll and like shop, maybe even setting it as like your wallpaper or your lock screen on your phone, so when you pick up your phone, that's what you see. And it's not like the Instagram app or whatever.
Cassidy: Right. One thing that I do with Instagram, mainly because I don't wanna doom scroll, is that I do have my timer set to like 30 minutes every day, like my app timer. So I can't scroll past 30 minutes, and in my opinion, Apple makes it a little too easy to bypass and be [00:18:00] like, just 15 more minutes.
But if you just tell yourself like, I'm not gonna do that button that also helps too, if you like, want to put some guardrails up around how much time you're allowing yourself to spend on social media or something like that.
And then another tip is to create some type of low pressure, like money check-in that you do regularly. So, and this might be more helpful for those of you who feel like, you avoid your finances or you wait until you're completely overwhelmed. Like instead, if you try to build in some regular check-in, that feels very, very gentle for you, that could be a good way to alleviate some of that pressure a little bit, so you could even try to make it gentle and cozy by like lighting a candle, putting on some music, grabbing your favorite snack go, going to your favorite coffee shop if it's in your budget. And just like taking 15 minutes once a week to see how things are going.
And just think of it as like a money date or like a little casual [00:19:00] money check-in just to see how things are going.
Emily: Yeah, that's a great idea. But if you're at the point where stress feels unmanageable, like you can't handle it yourself, it's okay to reach out for help. You can talk to a financial coach, financial therapist, or a regular therapist, even your HR department. Research shows that financial wellness programs actually boost job satisfaction and reduce burnout. So if your workplace doesn't offer something like this it might be something you bring up to HR and advocate for it.
Cassidy: And even if all of that feels like too much, that's okay too. Just start with one thing that can help you feel more in control, and maybe that is deleting that social media app for the weekend, if you are like tempted to spend money and that's one of your stressors, or maybe it's calling a friend to talk through a big decision or just sit on the phone with you while you do something that feels like it should be a simple financial task. Maybe it's journaling out the money, thoughts spinning around in your head so they're no longer living rent free in your brain. Those can all be smaller things that you do as [00:20:00] well.
Emily: And don't feel like you have to move really quickly through all of these tasks. What's important is that you keep showing up for yourself in small, sustainable ways. Your mental health and your finances are both a long game and it's, they're, they're not something you like, conquer overnight.
Cassidy: Yeah, I think that's why at the beginning of this episode we were like, we're gonna soften the edges on these things, but nothing is gonna be solved instantly. But before we wrap up this episode, we did want to give you a little pep talk for when you're feeling tired because you may be walking away from this episode feeling like, wow, this is a lot to carry. The money stuff, the mental health stuff, the world stuff, but truly, truly, truly, like you're not carrying it alone.
Emily: So here's our gentle invitation for you this week. Check in with yourself. Where is money affecting your mental health right now? Is there one small thing you can do to take the pressure off, whether it's setting a boundary, asking for help, or [00:21:00] simply taking a break?
Cassidy: We would also love to hear your stories. If you've ever felt the weight of money, stress on your mental health, or found a strategy that helped you feel more grounded, you can email us or leave a comment on Substack. And of course you can stay anonymous, but we just wanna open up the door for more honest conversations around this topic.
Emily: And thanks for being here. Thanks for being a part of this community where you don't have to pretend that you have it all together, and we certainly don't. We're all figuring it out. One messy and hopeful step at a time.
Cassidy: But we will catch you next week girlies. And in the meantime, be kind to your brain, be kind to yourself. Yeah, we're here for you.
That's a wrap on another episode of the Finance Girlies podcast. Nothing in this episode is meant to be taken as financial advice. Please do your own research and talk to a professional if you need advice. As always, if you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, rate and review. Love you. [00:22:00] Bye.
