Prenups for modern couples with divorce attorney Aaron Thomas
If someone handed you a contract that would govern half your assets, your retirement accounts, and potentially years of your financial future — would you sign it without reading the fine print?
That's exactly what happens when you get married without a prenup.
Our guest Aaron Thomas, a Harvard Law grad and founder of prenups.com, spent years handling 1,000+ divorce cases before he had a realization: marriage is already a financial contract—you're just letting the state write the terms instead of writing them yourself. In this episode, he makes the case that prenups aren't about planning for divorce. They're about building healthier marriages from the start.
Episode Highlights
[1:00] How one Love Is Blind moment captured the classic misconception of prenups
[3:00] What Aaron learned after 1,000+ divorces that completely changed his mind about prenups
[10:00] The #1 money issue destroying marriages — lack of transparency and what it really means
[17:00] Why prenups are MORE important for middle-class couples than wealthy ones
[21:00] How marriage has changed from garage startup to corporate merger since the 1960s
[28:00] What lower-earning partners should ask for in a prenup (and why it protects them)
[32:00] Aaron's exact script for bringing up the prenup conversation without causing drama
[39:00] What about postnups? Yes, you can still protect yourself if you're already married
[45:00] If Aaron were dictator: Why prenups should be the default for everyone
Marriage is already a contract (you just didn't write it)
Before becoming a family law attorney, Aaron thought what most of us think: prenups mean you're planning to divorce. They're unromantic. They mean you don't trust your partner.
But here's what he learned: if you start a business with your best friend, you document ownership splits upfront. If you buy property with family, you put everything in writing. But marriage? We wait until we’re emotionally strained and exhausted to figure out our financial details.
What is a prenup — and why do we hate the idea of them?
Aaron breaks down why prenups have gotten such a bad reputation, and why that's hurting couples who need them most. Spoiler: rich people can afford years of legal fees. On the other hand, middle-class couples are often forced to choose between draining their savings or accepting unfair terms.
But the real eye-opener in this episode isn't about divorce at all. It's about what prenups can do for your marriage while you're in it.
We're talking about tools like:
Annual financial check-ins (think: shareholders meeting for your household)
Rules around large purchases that protect both partners
Mandatory counseling sessions built into your agreement
Protection for the partner who takes career breaks or does unpaid labor
These aren't divorce provisions — they're investments in a healthy relationship.
Why prenups matter for everyone
Aaron walks us through the money issue he sees destroying even good marriages: lack of transparency. And he doesn't just mean financial infidelity (though he's got some jaw-dropping stories about that too).
He means the everyday dynamics where one person handles everything, creating power imbalances neither partner intended. Where someone doesn't know where the bills get paid from. Where asking for "your own" money feels like asking for an allowance.
The prenup process forces these conversations to happen before resentment builds, before something goes wrong, before you're sitting in a lawyer's office wishing you'd talked about this years ago.
How to talk about a prenup with your partner
One of our favorite parts of this conversation is when Aaron gives his script for bringing up prenups without causing a Love is Blind-level meltdown.
The key: Don’t start with the word, “prenup.” Instead, try:
How should we structure our accounts?
Should we have annual money check-ins?
What's our plan for major purchases?
If one of us takes time off work, how do we ensure they're still building wealth?
His approach is genius because it reframes the entire conversation from "I don't trust you" to "I want to design our partnership intentionally."
The bottom line
This episode completely transformed how we think about marriage preparation. Whether you're dating, engaged, or already married, these conversations matter.
Resources:
The Prenup Prescription by Aaron Thomas
@prenupguy on Instagram
