A tough love approach to financial planning with Lori Atwood
What if your biggest financial problem isn’t your budget — it’s actually that you’re unhappy?
[We know, there’s a lot to be unhappy with in the world at this moment, and it’s not your fault. For this conversation, we’re focusing on what you can control.]
Lori Atwood, a financial advisor who's worked with 2,000+ clients, shared her perspective on The Finance Girlies podcast, and it changed how we think about money. So grab your coffee, get cozy, and let's talk about the financial wisdom that's been living in your blind spot.
📍 Key moments from the episode
[2:00] Lori's journey from Pell Grant kid to investment banker to financial advisor
[7:00] What "financial context" actually means and why it changes everything
[14:00] The uncomfortable truth about how financial advisors get paid
[19:00] Why your unhappiness is sabotaging your finances
[24:00] The wealth secret: what the richest people actually have in common
[29:00] Why retirement (and owning your home) matters more than you think
[33:00] The one thing you should do this week if you're feeling overwhelmed
[36:00] How to know if you actually need a financial advisor
Your financial context matters more than your paycheck
Most financial advice treats your money like it exists in a vacuum. Earn more, spend less, invest the difference. Simple, right? Except it's not, because we’re human.
Financial context is your whole picture: your upbringing, your values, your habits, and all the baggage around money you've been carrying around since you were a kid. It's not just your salary or your debt that matters.
Traditional financial planning fails when it only looks at the spreadsheet — assets, liabilities, net worth. It ignores the human living the life.
For example, Lori shared a story that highlights what can go wrong when you only focus on the numbers: She’s worked with clients with college and retirement fully funded — but they’re so miserable, they can barely get out of bed.
When you understand your financial context, you create a plan that actually works for you. Not a cookie-cutter budget that leaves you feeling restricted, burned out, and drained of all happiness. A real financial life aligned with who you actually are.
Your unhappiness might be your most expensive liability
Lori had some hot takes, and this was a big one: "The worst thing for your finances is your unhappiness."
Just before our call, Lori told a client: "You need to resign. This job is gonna kill you." Then they worked out the finances together. Sometimes the best financial move isn't optimizing your 401(k). Sometimes it's getting out of what's actively draining the life out of you.
Think about it. If you're unhappy with your job, your relationship, or your house, you will spend more. You're trying to fill a hole. You're trying to numb something. And you're doing it with your credit card.
We’ve all been there, and it’s not the end of the world when this happens. But it’s worth taking a minute to pause and ask yourself if spending money will actually solve the problem you’re dealing with.
Wealthy people aren't buying more stuff — they're already happy
The richest people Lori works with don't live extravagantly. They're not out there buying the newest thing or chasing the next high. They're just... satisfied.
Meanwhile, she has clients making half a million dollars a year going bankrupt. Always another thing to buy. Always another hole to fill.
The real wealth secret, according to Lori? It's not about how much you earn, it's about being content with what you have. The wealthiest aren't the flashiest spenders. They're the ones who already have what they need.
(And yes, this assumes you have your basic needs covered, like rent, food, and childcare. You can't practice contentment if you're in survival mode. If that's you, this isn't a personal failing — it's a systemic one.)
Why thinking about retirement now matters more than you think
Here's one of Lori's biggest worries: Gen Xers and Millennials are the first generations without pensions. It’s up to us to save for retirement, but that’s easier said than done when daycare costs $2,500 a month and college costs $92,000 a year and life is expensive.
By the time we hit our sixties, many of us won't have a paid-off house or enough retirement savings.
The takeaway? The money you save now matters infinitely more than money you try to save later. So start early. Even small amounts matter.
How to know if you actually need a financial advisor
Many of you wonder if you should hire a financial advisor, so we asked Lori her opinion.
She suggested that if you want to avoid financial surprises (and who doesn't?), hiring a financial advisor is a good idea. But — and this is important — you need to hire the right advisor.
At a baseline, look for two things:
An advisor who charges by the hour: You pay for the time you're sitting with a planner, getting actual advice. No strings attached. No hidden products pushing commission.
A fiduciary commitment: Fiduciary advisors must act in your best interest when giving financial advice. This ensures they won’t give you conflicting advice just to put more money in their own pockets.
Lori’s tip for when you’re feeling overwhelmed
Take a minute, sit down, and look at your monthly expenses.
Hold up a mirror to what you’re spending — you might be pleasantly surprised. And if not, you know what you need to do to fix it.
Bonus: Look at how your spending tracks with your mood. Do you spend more when you’re sad? It’s okay if that’s true, but if you need to save more, look for ways you can improve your mood without spending.
TL;DR
Your financial context matters. Understand where you came from, what you value, and what's actually broken — because that's where the real work happens.
Your unhappiness is costing you. If something in your life is making you miserable, fix that first. The financial piece will follow.
Wealth is about satisfaction, not income. The richest people in Lori's practice aren't the flashiest spenders. They're content.
When hiring a financial advisor, ask: How are you getting paid? And confirm they’re a fiduciary.
Lori's tip for financial success: Track your spending for 30 days. Most of us avoid looking at our finances because we don't want to know what’s happening. But once you look, you’ll know what needs to change.
Thanks so much to Lori Atwood for being on the pod and giving us all the tough love we needed. If you want to learn more about Fearless Finance or book a consultation, head to fearlessfinance.com or find them on social @fearlessfinance. And if you use the promo code "CASSIDYANDEMILY," you'll get $50 off your first hour. 💸
Nothing in this episode (or this post) is meant to be taken as financial advice. Please do your own research and talk to a professional if you need specific guidance for your situation.
