From spectator to CFO: Navigating divorce (and beyond) with Myra Alport
Life has a way of throwing you some curveballs, especially when you’re least expecting it. And when life changes in a big way, your financial landscape usually does, too.
Whether you're navigating divorce, supporting someone who is, or just ready to stop being a financial spectator in your own life, this conversation can help. Myra Alport is an accredited financial coach with over 20 years of experience who, after her own "gray divorce" following a 27-year marriage, helps women become their own CFOs with confidence, clarity, and humor.
This episode gets personal as Cassidy opens up about her divorce journey, adding some perspective to Myra's expert insights. We dive into why so many women end up on the financial sidelines, practical steps to take control of your money (whether you're married, single, or somewhere in between), and why avoiding one specific word might be the most powerful financial move you can make.
Episode Timestamps:
[02:00] Myra's journey from traditional financial planning to divorce coaching
[04:00] Why women become financial spectators in their own lives
[08:00] How financially prepared are women for divorce?
[10:00] The emotional and mental challenges of untangling finances
[12:00] How to financially prepare for a looming divorce
[14:00] What it really means to become your own CFO
[17:00] Financial coach vs. financial advisor: Which one do you need?
[19:00] What it means to pair spending with values
[22:00] Why you need to think about yourself at age 90 (and beyond)
[26:00] The one word Myra wishes every woman would stop using
[33:00] Rapid fire: Myra's coaching style, favorite tools, and recent splurge
Connect with Myra:
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Bonus episodes, starting with anonymous wedding confessions, money drama, and a full script workbook
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Transcript
Emily: [00:00:00] Are you drowning in money questions, but too embarrassed to ask? Tired of scrolling endlessly through conflicting financial advice that leaves you more confused than when you started. Welcome to the Finance Girlies Podcast, your cozy corner for all things finance. I'm your host Emily.
Cassidy: And I'm your host Cassidy.
We're both finance writers for brands like Forbes Advisor, USA Today Blueprint, and Yahoo Finance. Throughout our cruise and personal lives, we have come to one realization when we keep our money worries to ourselves. We end up feeling alone. That's why each episode we tackle those burning questions you've been afraid to ask.
With no judgment, no jargon, just real talk about real money. Ready to finally get answers. Let's dive in.
Cassidy: Hey, girlies. Today we're diving into a topic that's incredibly important and let's be honest, a little emotional, and [00:01:00] that is the financial side of divorce. So whether you're contemplating divorce, in the thick of it, or just supporting a friend through it, we know how overwhelming money can feel during a big life transition like this.
Emily: And to help us navigate this with clarity and compassion, we're so excited to bring on today's guest, Myra Alport. Myra is an accredited financial coach with over 20 years of experience in financial planning. After navigating her own gray divorce following a 27 year marriage, she turned her expertise toward helping other women become their own CFO with confidence, clarity, and a healthy dose of humor.
Cassidy: I am especially grateful for this conversation because I'm currently going through a divorce too. I got married at 21 and now at 31 I'm figuring out what financial independence looks like again. So this isn't just a theoretical conversation for me, it's a little personal. So Mayra, we're so glad to have you here.
Myra: It is a joy to be here with you ladies today. Thank you.
Cassidy: Yeah. So we would like to start with your story, if you could tell us about your journey [00:02:00] from traditional financial planning to becoming a money coach, especially for women navigating divorce. How did that come about?
Myra: Yes. I'm happy to start, on, on this note, and so, I'm a keen observer of people. I think it comes partially with being an introvert, just taking in a lot of information, a lot of details. And what I learned along the way was I would be sitting in meetings with clients and oftentimes the husband and wife were there together, begrudgingly on behalf of the wife. They, they would appear not necessarily happy to be there, kind of glazed over, really didn't feel like they were included or acknowledged. Sometimes, uh, a married couple wouldn't, you know, only the husband would come in and I would say to myself, oh my goodness, should something happen to this, husband, this wife, present or not, is really gonna be in the dark.
And so I would just take notice of [00:03:00] different conversations that I was involved in and it just became more apparent to me that women were just avoiding the subject of money in their lives, and there's lots of reasons for it. I mean, you start out, you're, especially if you're a married couple, and then you kind of divide and conquer over the years.
Husband takes over the money part. The women, woman takes over the household and the children and the calendaring. And, and what ultimately happens is the spouses don't necessarily come back together to have money conversations. And sometimes they, they become awkward and they don't even know how to communicate with each other in a way that's inclusive.
And so what I saw was as time went on, an opportunity to focus in on females and finance, and it's not an easy conversation for women. If you know, I'm definitely someone of an older age and I learned early on [00:04:00] that it's not a conversation women like to have openly.
Men will get around each other. They'll talk about sports, they'll talk about investments. They'll talk about how much they're contributing to their retirement accounts, what have you. And that's not what women are sitting around talking with each other about. And I think there is a taboo for women to feel comfortable having those conversations, not only with each other, but with themselves.
So that was sort of my starting point and it's just continued to build over time and things just stand out to me and I, I want to help women become their, like you said, their own CFO.
Emily: Switching gears a little bit to talk more specifically about divorce and how that's impacting women financially, you mentioned that you're seeing more and more younger women, like under age 50, initiating a divorce. Do you have any insight into what is driving that shift and what kinds of financial situations these women are walking into?
Myra: That is such a great [00:05:00] question, and yes, I am, seeing women of a younger age under, you know, some closer to 50, but not quite there. And I think it's just a realization. Women are realizing their potential, they're realizing what makes them happy. And from the backgrounds of any number of women, I feel like, if they've been in a marriage for a good number of years, they're just seeing the writing on the wall for themselves, looking ahead, and they're not happy. And they perhaps made a decision to get married at a time when certain circumstances were very solid in their life. And, you know, life happens, we just cannot always count on, on what's around the corner. And I think women are waking up earlier to the idea.
And it's a hard conversation for women. I've had women tell me, you know, it didn't go over well with family when they had to break the news. Some parents, grandparents definitely [00:06:00] don't support the idea of divorce.
Cassidy: I'm originally from South Georgia, so like, really big conservative Christian culture. I was terrified to tell my family that I was getting a divorce and they completely shocked me and have been nothing but supportive. So, I do understand that tug of war of being like, what are people gonna think?
I also keep going back to like, not so far in the distant past, women who wanted to leave marriages really couldn't for a lot of reasons, right? Like, it wasn't until the seventies that you could even have a credit card in your own name. So, I just think now that we're starting to see this like, generational shift where women just have more options and are able to provide for themselves outside of marriage, and they're like seeing that and waking up to it.
Myra: I think your point is well taken, and I will give you, I'm a story, I like to tell stories of my own, for my family. And so my mom went through a divorce in [00:07:00] the late fifties. You know, the, she was the only one of her group that was getting, you know, was getting divorced and, and she had her reasons for, for doing so, and she lost a lot of friends.
A lot of her girlfriends’ husbands did not want their wives being her friend anymore, if you can imagine that. I mean, it was, it was, it was very painful for her. And, it was a struggle for her. You know, you want the support of your friends when you're going through something like that.
And other than her family, a lot of her friends just went by the wayside.
Emily: Hmm.
Cassidy: I wonder if it was one of those situations where, I don't know, if the husbands are like, I don't want my wife to get any ideas. You know, I don't want them to feel empowered by their friend who's choosing to leave this marriage. So, yeah.
Myra: Exactly.
Cassidy: Yeah.
Emily: I was just curious, out of these women that are getting divorced, do you have any estimation of what percentage are financially prepared versus those who are [00:08:00] kind of just, have a lot to figure out?
Myra: I really could not put a percentage to any of that because it's all over the place. Some of the women that I work with personally, have careers that will support them going forward. Fortunately, you know, when you are under 50, you have a lot, you have a longer timeline ahead of you. It's much harder when you’re retirement age or close to it to, to think about having to divide assets at that age in your life, in all respects.
So for, for several women, they're somewhat at an advantage even though their income is probably less, but it's not always the case. There are plenty of women out there who have wonderful jobs and are supporting a husband who has no job,
So in those circumstances, she may have to provide support to him.
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Cassidy: Do you have clients who are in that kind of situation?
Myra: I have worked as a volunteer [00:09:00] with women in some of those situations. But not seen them through it. And there's a lot of that. See, that's why it's hard to put a percentage of who has it together and, and who may not have it together. I think the important part is being organized and having a mindset that you can put a plan in place with the help of professionals and other people, people that you feel are supportive of you and you can look upon them as being wise counsel. Again, some of the, more horrific stories are about abuse, physical abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, and those aren't easy at all.
Cassidy: From my own experience, I know [00:10:00] that even when a marriage has relatively equal financial footing, like, I feel like my ex and I both looked at our finances about equally, the untangling part can still feel very emotional, very mentally draining. So from your experience, what kinds of obstacles, either financially or emotionally do you see women face during this process where they're like in the thick of untangling and figuring out how they're gonna support themselves on their own?
Myra: Absolutely. It is a very trying time because it's so overwhelming to think of the whole picture. My mind works like a filing cabinet. I compartmentalize a lot of things and that's how I structure my approach to many challenges. So I think what's important is first of all, you have to give yourself some grace and understand that it's normal to feel overwhelmed with all of the decisions that you'll be facing, certainly more if there are children involved.
But at the very same [00:11:00] time, you have to kind of, what I like to say is peel back the onion one layer at a time to kind of work your way through things and stay focused. That's one of the most important suggestions that I have, is you have got to give yourself some focus time to look under the hood. You know, if you, if your car was not acting right and you needed help, you would take it to a mechanic to explore what the problem was. Well, here's the case where you're concerned about your finances, heading through divorce and dividing them. And you've gotta look under the hood of your own checking account and savings to see, you know, what's happening there.
And you have to be real about it. There's, there's no point in imagining something that's not happening.
Emily: And so kind of going off of that, if somebody is kind of early in the process or thinking that maybe a divorce is in their future, is there any type of financial, like [00:12:00] preparation they should be thinking about before they're even at that point?
Myra: Yes. And most recently I've had some women approach me on this very topic. And what I and what I tell them is, you, you have to know your numbers. You have to know what you have, what you brought into the marriage, what you hold together jointly. What are your tax returns like, do you understand how to read a tax return? There's lots of information there that's very helpful.
So the idea is to start creating a list of everything that you need. To attach a number to whether you know it's a house, whether it's child support, because if you go through the divorce process, you'll have to fill out a financial affidavit. That's a step that each party to the divorce has to, has to complete. And then whoever you're working with, takes that information and it's part of the overall discussion about division of assets.
And, and in some cases, you know, you could [00:13:00] have rental property, maybe it's in one party's name and not the other. There's a lot of legal discussions around that, which I don't get involved in. But what I do try to inform people about is like, these are things that you need to look at more closely because they all do factor in.
Myra: You’d be surprised about what people get nitpicky about through the process.
Cassidy: Yeah. So like, step number one would be to just kind of brain dump every asset or liability you have with your spouse, so you can kind of visualize, like, how everything might be split.
Myra: Yes, and, and that works well when you have two, two parties who are willing to open up with each other about it. But that's not always the case. Could be that a higher earning spouse is maybe secretly doing something else that the wife does not know about. And so, that's another conversation to uncover what other hidden assets there might be.
Cassidy: Switching gears to [00:14:00] more of like the CFO mindset, because we love that you talk about that. What does that actually look like in practice for like, the women that you work with to become their own CFO?
Myra: I keep everything that I do very simple. Cause if it was super complicated. I wouldn't be doing it. I try not to be a complicated person. I like to keep things simple for other people. But it's knowing your numbers. What are you earning every month? What's your take home pay? What bills are you paying each month? How much are you saving, if you are saving? What does that look like? At the end of each month, do you have money left over? If you don't, then what? Is that what's going on the credit card? Is that what's creating ongoing balances, that you're spending more than you're earning? That's really what it entails.
It's not complicated and you know, the, the younger you are, like I said, the longer you have to prepare, but it's still important to take those steps as early as you can because you'll carry that with you the rest of your [00:15:00] life. So important.
Cassidy: I always like to say that the financial habits you build now matter more than how much money you make or how much money you bring in, because like, if you have those habits in place, and if your income does increase, if you come into a windfall, if whatever, you're gonna like, have the tools to be able to use that to your financial advantage.
Myra: And it's peace of mind, because money is just so emotional. More so for women. There's no escaping that. We are emotional.
Emily: Right. And even how, like you say, it's simple and it is, knowing, you know, how much you earn and what your bills are and what happens with money left over at the end of the month. But I think it's surprising how many people just don't know those things. Like, there have been plenty of times in my life too, where I haven't been aware of those things.
So it is a really good, simple but important step, I think.
Myra: One of the things that I always recommend to anybody is, especially in the beginning, take [00:16:00] a time of the week, on, when you have the free time, take no more than 30 minutes to review, what did I spend this week? What left this week? What's coming up next week? So you have an idea of your cash flow, and it could be in some cases that maybe you have a bill that's due before you get paid. What do you do? Do you pay it late? Do you rob from Peter to pay Paul from, you know, somewhere else, when the simplest thing you might be doing is calling that company and say, can I change my due date on my bills? I have never been turned down by a utility company or a credit card company to do that.
And it makes it easier. You don't have to sweat. Yeah, those couple days between when the bill’s due and when you get paid. I mean, if you don't ask, you don't get.
Emily: Yeah, that's so true. So we know some of our listeners might already have financial advisors, or they're maybe considering hiring one. [00:17:00] Why would someone also wanna work with a financial coach? Can you talk about the differences and how those roles maybe complement each other?
Myra: Yes, they do compliment each other and they, and, and for, for lots of different reasons. So, I mean, if you're struggling with your bills, you have credit card debt, you're trying to save money and it's just not working. You know, like the here and now is the coaching piece.
Emily: Hmm.
Myra: I think that a financial advisor is best used taking a long view. Maybe it's not something you do in your twenties and thirties unless there are sizable assets in your life. But the, the whole idea behind a financial advisor, wealth manager, is really to help you take the long view, how to prepare for retirement, how to manage the risk that you're taking in investments, whether they're in your workplace retirement account or, or in [00:18:00] brokerage accounts. How can, you know, how can you take those steps? Can I purchase a home? How long will it take me to, you know, what are my best options? So I always think of that in terms of long view, short view, like, more the here and now is where I feel the coach provides the best benefits. I mean, certainly there are financial advisors that are happy to sit, sit down with, with people and, and give them some pointers, not necessarily to become a client, but say, hey, you know, I think this is where you are now, and if these are your goals, then here's some ideas for helping you reach them so that later on in your life, you may want to work with someone. Both very valuable in my opinion.
Emily: Yeah, definitely. Let's get a little bit more into like, the practical side and maybe get into some tips. So, you talk about pairing your spending with goals and values, which is something that we also like to talk about. Can you [00:19:00] share maybe like, an example from working with a client or your own life, of how that might play out?
Myra: Yes. What I do is, for some clients, we need to kind of spend some more time focusing, cause their money could be literally a hot mess, is to do a values exercise. So I have one that I use and I send it out and I say, look, there's a lot of things listed here on this sheet. Start narrowing them down to your top 10 and then work your way down to the top three, because I think it's hard to isolate just one value in your life, and they can be competing values at times too.
So I, that's what I encourage people to do and say, okay, so maybe this is a good way to focus. Where is your money going that aligns with what you tell me is really important to you, and maybe there's a misalignment there. You know, maybe you're saying you value X, but that's not where your money's going. So I think that's one way that helps women focus better, [00:20:00] on their own lives and helps them take the point of view that I, I want to thrive in what's most important to me, and I don't want to stay in a survival mode anymore.
Cassidy: Do you have examples of the values that are written on the sheet that they narrow down from?
Myra: Oh, well there are probably like 60. But it could be anything from, you know, you value community, you value faith, you value compassion. I mean, they're descriptive words and you could create your own. Brene Brown has one out there on the internet.
Emily: I was gonna ask like, Are there any common values that crop up a lot among women, or.
Myra: I think family is probably the key for that, definitely.
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Myra: Yeah. Family and community for sure.
Emily: Hmm.
Cassidy: Yeah. I think Emily and I also have a shared bond over like, community being a value of ours, and we've talked on the podcast about how [00:21:00] like, we're willing to shift some of our financial resources to spend on opportunities that like, get us connecting with our community or just allow us to have these experiences to like meet new people and grow our inner circles.
So, that’s cool.
Myra: It's a healthy approach.
Cassidy: You also encourage clients to think long term, like age 90 and beyond. So how do you help someone extend their financial timeline, especially after something as emotionally intense as a divorce?
Myra: Well interesting, most people don't anticipate living to 90 or beyond. My mom made it to 101 before she passed away. So, and, and several of her siblings also made it into their 90s. So I don't know what lies ahead for me, but I've got a marker to work with, I suppose. But you, but there's, you know, there, there's no way to know. We're not born with, knowing when we're gonna pass away. You know, I don't think that any [00:22:00] woman or any person really wants to outlive their money. You know, that means that you're falling back on family resources, community resources, et cetera.
I mean, I really feel that that's something people absolutely want to avoid. And oftentimes, you know, the equity you have in your home, while not liquid when you're living in it, can also extend your time if you were to sell it and have to go into assisted living or something like that.
But I think for most people, they're not taking as long a view. Or like, they'll say, I'm not planning to live till 90. And, and you're like, well, I don't know how you can say that because unless you really feel like you have control over that situation, that may not be the case.
But I think the important thing is, when you work with a financial advisor, you know, the idea is that they can run scenarios that help you over time take a number of factors into play to say, oh yeah. By age 90, this is what your financial picture looks like, and you've prepared [00:23:00] so well to get there.
And I think that that helps people calm down, especially in the early years of retirement when there's a lot of change in the air for people you know, because that's when you're starting to take assets that you've saved so hard for. You're starting to take distributions and make other changes in your life.
But at the same time, you want to live your life because you've worked so hard.
Cassidy: Yeah, I would imagine it takes a lot of unlearning and relearning to get to that point where you're like, okay, now you're going to actually use the money you've been saving, and it's not a bad thing to use it.
Myra: Yes. It can be very intimidating. You're like, what am I gonna, you know, how am I gonna live on. And then you're just like, well, you know, we can create, for example, you say, well, we're gonna create a retirement paycheck for you.
So that on, just like you would get paid once or twice a month, we can arrange to have a deposit going into your checking account from your, [00:24:00] investments. So, people don't necessarily think of that in the same way they do when they're working, but it's, uh, it's just a mind shift.
I think for the most part, the more you can save, everything just sort of compounds itself. So the better habits you can develop when you're young will carry you very well into retirement.
Emily: Hmm. Yeah. I have a grandpa who's 96 who is doing quite well and, yeah, I can only hope I am somewhere close to his position when I'm that age because he, uh, has been able to stay in his home and, I think he's gotten a lot of support from his kids. But yeah, it's just inspiring. And so when I think about aging, I, I can see myself at 96, cause I have that example, you know?
Myra: Yeah. And that's important too, to know how, in, just in conversation, just to get informed by your client, well, is there longevity in your [00:25:00] family?
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Myra: And too, part of those conversations, and, and for you, Emily, having, I'm sure your grandfather can, when you spend time with him, tell you stories about it, how he grew up.
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Myra: With my mom, they lived through the depression.
Emily: Yeah. Uhhuh.
Myra: So many of the habits that she formed as an adult, I, to this day, carry with me. And, and there were, there were good habits. Some of us don't take on the best habits from our parents and grandparents, but I know, in my case that my mom, um, set quite an example for me.
Emily: Hmm. What's one thing you wish every woman knew about money, regardless of their marriage status or age?
Myra: I think they need to avoid the word, “should.”
I find that word is terribly shameful. And if you tell yourself that enough times, you start believing it. I am really big on behavioral [00:26:00] psychology. It's not like I'm a therapist or anything, but it's a subject of interest, and I hear people say, oh, I should be doing this and I should be doing that.
It's like they're hitting themselves and I find that you dig a hole for yourself that you cannot easily crawl out of. So when people say those shoulds, they're really berating themselves and they stay stuck in that mindset. And I think the most beneficial way is to look and imagine what your life can be when you don't have money worries.
Imagine how you'll feel. You wake up and everything is going well for you. We can't plan for everything, but we can certainly try to plan the best that we can. And I think you feel more empowered and confident when you can wake up one day and say, you know what? I used to worry about money all the time. It invaded my brain, it took over, and now I get to live [00:27:00] my life. I know where my money's going. I know what's coming in. I'm saving for my future, and it's a good day. What can be better than that?
Cassidy: Yeah. That's so relatable. Emily and I also talk about, I know from my experience I was like so frugal in college especially, had a very tiny income, was trying my best to like, pay off debt and save, and I feel like every single thought that I had was consumed by money. And then fast forward like a decade of just instituting little habits and saving and doing all of this stuff.
It's so nice to be through most of that and to be like, everything's on autopilot. I'm aware of everything, like, I feel like I can breathe a little bit more and just focus on myself versus all of these money stresses.
Myra: Exactly. One of the things that I still encourage people, I do this myself. I usually, if I give someone else a suggestion is 'cause I've already tried it out myself.
So I'm one of those, you know, [00:28:00] spreadsheet paper and pencil kind of people when it comes to numbers because I, get a lot of, uh, tactile experience just from writing down things on a piece of paper. I remember things better, but, you know, you do what works for you. Just keep things simple and really, spend a little time every week, it becomes less and less when you get a handle on everything. You don't have to feel like, oh, it's 30 minutes of drudgery. It could end up being 10 minutes of like, wow, check, check, check, check.
I've done all these things and I have next week to look forward to. I know that everything's gonna get paid on time. I know that I'm consistently putting money into savings, for X, Y, and Z goals, and life is good.
Emily: It's kind of like, it reminds me of compound interest a little bit and how like when you just get a little bit more time that you're not worrying about money and you can focus on other things, like your life just exponentially gets better.
And I've written, um, Cassidy, maybe you have too, I've written a few articles [00:29:00] about just like, the mental impacts of personal finance and how many people stress about it and how much it impacts their life, and so, I'm just aware of how much mental freedom you can have when those things are maybe not fully taken care of, but when you're making progress in that area.
Myra: Exactly. I think another area that people get locked into is like, well, we've always done it this way in my family, this is how we do it. And sometimes it's cultural too. And it's hard to break those habits because they're well documented, well informed. But I'll just give you an example.
Like, oh, I've always dealt with this one insurance company in my family, we all use the same insurance company. And maybe there's something better out there, another way you could save money and drop your premium. You don't feel like you have to be locked in. I think we limit ourselves by thinking there's only one option.
And, and and we need to expand our [00:30:00] base and say, you know what? I bet there's more to look at out there if we just take the time or talk to someone.
Cassidy: My one example of that is for years, like my mom and stepdad were with Verizon, and their bill was like, astronomically high, and it was just the two of them. And I was like, there's so many cheaper options out there for phone plans. Like, you can save yourself hundreds and hundreds of dollars a month.
But my stepdad for the longest time was like, I've used Verizon for, I don't know, 15 plus years, like, it's who I use. And I was like. Just look into it. And then they did end up switching and they were like, we're so glad. But it took a long time to get to that point.
Myra: And it, and it works both ways, doesn't it? Here, here you are helping parents make decisions. It's great that they finally came around and listened to you. It takes a while. People do really get stuck in their habits and sometimes it's good to question a little bit of [00:31:00] everything that's going on.
Cassidy: So to ground this whole conversation in the now, like, just a little bit for someone who's listening, who's thinking, wow, I might actually need this kind of help. Like whether it's a money coach or like getting someone's professional help financially preparing for a divorce they're about to have or just went through. But say that person has absolutely no idea where to begin, what's kind of the first step you usually give to people who are in that position?
Myra: Well, it just depends on what is the most important thing they want to alleviate the stress from? And usually that's the starting point. When I talk to anybody, whether it's as, you know, a volunteer coach or as a coach, coach, it's like, what do you wanna get out of this conversation?
What? What are your most important takeaways? You know, if we only talk one time, what, what takeaway will help you move on? What next actionable step do you think you can take? Let's look at what these options might be, [00:32:00] because I cannot help everyone, right? You know, there's some people like you've mentioned Cassidy and Emily, I do work with a lot of people facing divorce or someone who's gone through divorce, doesn't mean that I can only help them. I mean, the same principles tend to apply no matter who the person is.
So I think it's really like, getting the feedback, you know, what's keeping you up at night? What is your biggest stressor that we can start to tackle together and find some opportunity there? I always try to take it from an emotional component because that's what it is.
It's not always the numbers. You've gotta dig to get to those. You can't just start out with someone saying, here's my numbers. Let's get started. Like, no, there's a lot more conversation that has to take place.
Cassidy: Yeah. I love that your first step is being curious and being like, what's keeping you up at night? Like, what can we alleviate? That's such a beautiful way to approach it.
Emily: Yeah, I don't think I've heard that approach before. It's [00:33:00] definitely…
Myra: I try to bring compassion with me into these conversations. I mean, people, like, say, oh, well, you know, are you empathetic or whatever, and like, well, I think empathy only goes so far. You can say to someone, I feel bad for what you're going through, Cassidy. I'm sad to hear Cassidy, that this is what's going on in your life. I know that must be a struggle, but at the same time, you can say all that then you can say, well, let's talk about next steps. Let's get actively involved in how we can help move you forward to get on the other side of this challenge that you're facing. So I think compassion takes it further.
Emily: Before we wrap things up, we just have a few like, kind of fun, rapid fire questions for you.
Myra: Uh oh.
Emily: No need to overthink it.
Myra: Oh, please.
Emily: What's one word your clients might use to describe your coaching style?
Myra: I would say compassionate. Perfect [00:34:00] timing to raise that question with me. Emily. Thank you for making that easy.
Cassidy: Okay, second question. Do you have a favorite money tool, app or spreadsheet?
Myra: I have my own spreadsheet that I use for myself. I think now banks have gotten much better offering tools for tracking spending. Sometimes the categories may be off a little bit, but it's easy and you can kind of rearrange the numbers that way. But I, I don't have a favorite. I know a lot of people like the, uh, YNAB app. That's a favorite that I hear from a lot of people. They like using, You Need A Budget. Right. Is that it?
Emily: Yeah. We both use it.
Cassidy: Yeah.
Myra: Well then you're, you're the, you're the best supporters.
Emily: What is one money belief you wish every woman would unlearn?
Myra: Hmm, there's so many. I think I alluded a little bit to it earlier, like this is the way we've always done it. I think the ability to open up your mind and explore options that are out there. Start [00:35:00] questioning your own belief system. I've become, uh, definitely more interested in AI of late, and I think you can throw some really good questions in there in some of these, AI applications. And you'd be surprised at what answers you'll get if you frame them properly.
Cassidy: Oh, for sure. I've noticed a lot of my family members and friends use AI to just like, just ask random questions, like it’s something that you would probably ask a friend just to see what it says. And they're treating it almost, not a pseudo friend, but just like someone that they can go to, to be like, what are your thoughts on this?
Myra: It's a, it's just another way of learning. It gets you outside your head. Because we, you know, we can just be so narrow in our thinking process, especially when we're stressed. We can't even allow ourselves to expand those lines, be, you know, beyond what our limiting beliefs are. And, and we all have them. It's just sometimes, you really have to be mindful and, and question them.
Emily: [00:36:00] Yeah. One of our first episodes was about money beliefs we've had over the years and how we've addressed them, and it was a really fun episode and we got a lot of feedback from it. I think that's something that a lot of people can relate to.
Myra: I do have sort of an interesting story on that. So I, I was serving as a volunteer and this, um, younger woman, I wanna say, in her twenties, she had some credit card debt, and she wasn't sure if she should pay it off or not.
That was really it. And it's not like she didn't have the money to do it, but she thought it was healthy to carry a balance. She thought, you're not supposed to pay off your credit cards in full. Yet she had plenty of money in savings because she really was a good saver, but it never crossed her mind that she could take money from that account and pay off her credit cards.
That just sort of blew me away, because she was under the impression that it's not something you're supposed to do, is pay [00:37:00] your credit card. Yes.
Cassidy: So I, I assume maybe, did you change her opinion on that?
Myra: I, I did. I hope. I hope I did.
Cassidy: Yeah, it's funny, um, going back to the money beliefs episode Emily and I recorded, I initially, the money beliefs that I talk about in there did not even know that I had those beliefs until one of our mentors in the copywriting space pointed them out to me and she was like, hmm, I think you kind of have this like limiting belief about this thing.
And I was like, until you said that, I would not have thought I had a limiting belief about this at all. But you're right, so.
Myra: It is only when, when it gets questioned sometimes that we come, become fully aware of it, but otherwise we just go ahead and live our lives the way we do.
Maybe you had no reason to question that belief until it got pointed out to you.
Cassidy: Okay, very last rapid-fire question. Can you think of a splurge that you've made recently that was 100% worth it? And it can be big or small.
Myra: Well, it's coming. So I will admit [00:38:00] to the world out there that I, very few people, but you know, you said splurge and I'm not one to splurge much on myself. I just, I just don't. But I am, I talk myself into, I'm going to have a small cosmetic surgery procedure in September that has been kind of weighing on my mind for quite some time, and I finally said to myself, just do it.
Cassidy: Yes. That's amazing. I'm so excited for you.
Myra: I was telling my daughter about it and she's like, it really bothers you, doesn't it? And no one had ever said that. I mean, very few people know, of course now everybody knows. Um, uh, I said, yeah, it does. Which made it just confirmed the fact that, yeah.
Emily: Yeah.
Myra: I’m doing it because I feel I need to, want to.
Cassidy: When there's this thing that you've wanted to do for so long and it, it has been like this little nugget in the back of your mind for like months or years, and then you finally do it, you're gonna feel so relieved, [00:39:00] so proud of yourself. So happy. So more like yourself than you've ever felt before.
Myra: That's the goal.
Cassidy: Myra, you have given us so much wisdom today, so I want to say thank you on behalf of me and Emily. Where can our listeners find you, learn more about your work or reach out if they're thinking, okay, I need Myra Alport in my life.
Myra: Oh, that's cute. Thank you both. It's been an absolute pleasure. My website is called fempoweredmoney.com. Fem, FEMpowered.money.com. My email is Myra@fempoweredmoney.com. Keeping it simple. I've been thrilled to spend time with you ladies today. I hope your listeners got a few nuggets to ponder on as life moves everyone forward, it's been an absolute joy.
Emily: Thank you so much. We'll be sure to include your website and email address in our show notes so people can find [00:40:00] you. Thank you for being so generous with your story. I know Cassidy and I really enjoyed it.
Cassidy: Yeah. And for anyone out there today, if this resonated with you or if you know someone who's quietly navigating their own life transition, please send this episode their way. These are the conversations that can shift the entire trajectory of someone's lives.
We will see you all next week.
Emily: That's a wrap on another episode of the Finance Girlies podcast. Nothing in this episode is meant to be taken as financial advice.
Cassidy: Please do your own research and talk to a professional if you need advice. As always, if you enjoyed this episode, don't [00:19:00] forget to subscribe, rate and review. Love you. Bye.
