Our month-long money diary: Does our spending align with our values? / 87
Most budgeting advice stops after one question: Where did your money go?
That's a helpful place to start, but it doesn't tell you whether your money is actually helping you build the life you want.
In this week's Finance Girlies podcast episode (a re-release of a previously Insiders-only episode), we tried an exercise inspired by Ramit Sethi’s Rich Life Journal. Instead of simply reviewing our March spending, we compared it to the things we value most.
Spoiler: Some purchases felt deeply aligned. Others surprised us. And a few highlighted places where a small course correction might make next month feel even better.
In this blog post, we’re guiding you through the same exercise. You don't need to copy our budgets or spending categories for this exercise to be useful. In fact, the goal is simply to understand whether your money is supporting the life you want to live.
Episode highlights
[01:30] Why we started by defining our core values before looking at a single dollar we spent.
[05:00] A peek inside our real spending from the month — including rent, travel, groceries, therapy, and more.
[12:30] The discretionary purchases that brought us the most joy — and the ones that made us pause.
[14:00] How travel, yoga, therapy, and meaningful relationships showed up in our spending.
[16:30] The purchases that didn't feel as aligned with our values, even if they weren't "bad" decisions.
[19:30] Why some spending categories feel so emotionally loaded, and how we're learning to think about them differently.
[25:30] From beauty routines to housing costs, we share the purchases we sometimes second-guess — without the shame.
[31:00] The values we'd spend even more on if money weren't a limiting factor.
[39:00] What this exercise revealed about our habits, plus the small course corrections we're making moving forward.
[44:30] One simple question that can tell you far more than just tracking where your money goes.
Start with your values, not your budget
Before opening your banking app or spreadsheet, spend a few minutes writing down the things that matter most to you.
Your list might include things like:
Relationships
Health
Learning
Adventure
Security
Creativity
Generosity
Community
A home that feels peaceful and comfortable
There isn't a right or wrong list. The point is simply to identify your values so you have a clear vision of what you want your money to support.
In the podcast, Emily realized many of her values centered around health, relationships, learning, travel, and creating a home she enjoys living in. Cassidy's list included supporting local businesses, investing in friendships, prioritizing mental health, and making room for creativity and joy. Those values naturally shaped the way each of us viewed our spending.
Review your spending with curiosity, not guilt
Once you've identified your values, look back at your spending over the past month.
Instead of asking, "Did I spend too much?" try asking:
Which purchases felt aligned with my values?
Which purchases didn't?
What surprised me?
What would I happily spend money on again?
This shift changes the conversation completely.
For example, Emily realized her monthly yoga membership wasn't just another subscription. It supported one of her biggest priorities: taking care of her physical and mental health. Looking at it through the lens of her values made the expense feel much more intentional.
Cassidy had a different realization. Many of the purchases that brought her the most joy — traveling to see loved ones, supporting local artists, and giving gifts to people she cares about — were completely aligned with her values. Her bigger takeaway wasn't that these purchases were "bad." It was recognizing that even meaningful spending needs guardrails so it stays sustainable over time.
Pay attention to emotionally charged spending
During the episode, Emily and Cassidy talked about expenses like therapy, traveling to visit family, and housing. None of these purchases felt wasteful. If anything, they wished they could spend more in those areas. The challenge was balancing those priorities with the reality of a finite budget.
If you notice yourself feeling emotional about a spending category, pause before labeling it as "good" or "bad."
Ask yourself:
Why does this category matter to me?
Does this expense support one of my values?
Am I frustrated by the purchase — or by the fact that it's so expensive?
Those answers often reveal more than the dollar amount itself.
Look for patterns instead of perfection
One of the best takeaways from this exercise is that you don't need to overhaul your entire budget every month. Sometimes, all you need is a small adjustment.
For example, maybe you realize you're paying for subscriptions you barely use. Maybe you notice you've been spending impulsively when you're bored. Or maybe you realize your favorite purchases all have something in common — they support relationships, creativity, health, or experiences you'll remember long after the money is gone.
Think of this as an ongoing check-in rather than a pass-or-fail test. Every month is another opportunity to make your spending feel a little more aligned with the life you're trying to build.
That mindset feels much more sustainable than chasing perfection.
TL;DR
Your budget becomes much more useful when you compare it to your values — not just your spending.
Start by identifying what matters most to you before reviewing your transactions.
Ask which purchases felt aligned, which didn't, and what surprised you.
Notice emotionally charged spending with curiosity instead of guilt.
Make one small adjustment each month instead of trying to change everything at once.
Resources
Ramit Sethi’s Rich Life Journal
The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson
You Don’t Need a Budget by Dana Miranda
This content is for educational purposes only and should not be considered personalized financial, legal, or tax advice.
