Rethinking homeownership for Millennials (with real estate agent Silas Lindenstein) / 95
Buying your first home can make you question just about everything. Is renting actually throwing money away? Should you wait for interest rates to drop? How much house can you realistically afford? And how do you know whether you’re genuinely not ready to buy or you’re simply nervous because buying a house is a very big, very expensive thing you’ve never done before?
For this episode, we sat down with Silas Lindenstein, a Seattle-area real estate agent with more than a decade of experience and host of You’re Buying a Home with Silas Lindenstein. Silas especially loves working with first-time buyers and people who feel anxious about the process, so we talked through both the financial and emotional sides of deciding whether homeownership is right for you.
The biggest takeaway: Buying a home doesn’t have to be the inevitable next step in adulthood, and renting isn’t a financial failure. A more useful question is whether homeownership fits the life you actually want and whether your finances can comfortably support the full cost of that choice.
Episode highlights
[02:30] Why buying a home looks different for millennials and Gen Z — and why homeownership may be more of a lifestyle choice than a wealth-building strategy
[05:30] Renting vs. buying, why renting isn’t automatically “throwing money away,” and the opportunities that can come with homeownership
[13:00] What first-time homebuyers tend to worry about too much — and the seemingly small home maintenance issues that can actually matter more
[15:30] Why location, community, commute, and your future lifestyle can matter more than having the perfect kitchen
[23:00] Not sure whether you’ll buy in one year or five? How to start “paying your mortgage” now to test your budget and build savings
[26:00] The difference between qualifying for a mortgage and actually being financially ready for homeownership
[28:30] The housing costs that can get overlooked, including taxes, insurance, PMI, maintenance, and repairs
[32:00] How to think about housing costs as a percentage of your income, plus the role refinancing can play in your long-term cash flow
[38:00] Simple, relatively inexpensive ways to maintain your home and protect its value over time
[40:00] Why trying to perfectly time the housing market can be tricky — and how to think through buying when the timing is right for your life
[45:30] How fear and past experiences can shape the way we think about homeownership, even when our current circumstances look completely different
The great rent vs. buy debate
For previous generations, homeownership was generally a more straightforward financial milestone: Buy a house, build equity, and eventually own an appreciating asset. For Millennials and Gen Z, that path can look a lot less clear.
Higher home prices can make it harder for younger buyers to see the same financial payoff previous generations may have experienced. That doesn’t mean buying a home can’t help you build wealth, but wealth-building probably shouldn’t be the primary reason you buy.
Instead, think about what you actually want your life to look like. Homeownership might appeal to you if you want more stability, more space, or the freedom to make a home your own. Renting might make more sense if you value flexibility, expect to move within a few years, or simply don’t want to be responsible for repairs and maintenance right now.
This is also why the whole “renting is throwing money away” argument misses a lot of nuance. Rent pays for real things, including:
A place to live
Flexibility to move without having to sell a property
Fewer maintenance responsibilities and surprise repair costs
In some markets, a significantly lower monthly housing cost
Homeownership can create opportunities through equity, but equity isn’t free money. The better question isn’t “Which option is always smarter?” It’s “Which one makes sense for my finances and the life I want right now?”
What to prioritize when shopping for a home
Once you actually start looking at homes, it’s easy to get caught up in all the things that could be wrong with them. Maybe the kitchen needs updating, the bathroom isn’t your style, or the inspection report comes back with a long list of issues you weren’t expecting. Especially as a first-time buyer, figuring out what’s a genuine concern and what’s simply part of owning a home can feel overwhelming.
Inspection reports are a good example. When you see pages of problems listed in an official-looking document, it’s easy to assume every issue is one step away from financial disaster. Silas’s advice was to get curious about what repairs actually cost instead of assuming the worst. Sometimes intimidating problems have relatively manageable fixes, while boring maintenance issues can become much more expensive when ignored. Something as simple as making sure water drains away from the house, for example, can help prevent larger moisture and foundation problems.
As you weigh those concerns, it can help to separate the things you can eventually change from the things you really can’t.
Usually changeable: paint colors, appliances, cabinets, fixtures, flooring, and that avocado-green bathtub.
Much harder — or impossible — to change: location, commute, neighborhood, proximity to friends and family, and the surrounding community.
When you’re shopping, think about how those harder-to-change factors fit the life you might want several years from now. A beautiful house that adds 45 minutes to your commute or leaves you isolated from the people you care about may not feel so dreamy once the new-house excitement wears off.
The home matters, but so does the life you’ll be living around it.
How to financially prepare for homeownership
One of our favorite practical tips from the conversation works whether you plan to buy next year or five years from now: Start pretending you already have the mortgage.
Say your rent is $1,500, but you estimate your future monthly housing costs could be around $2,200. Try automatically putting that $700 difference into a separate savings account every month.
Then pay attention to what happens:
Can you still save for your other goals?
Do you have enough money left for fun and discretionary spending?
Are you constantly pulling money back out of savings?
Does the higher housing cost feel comfortable, a little tight, or genuinely stressful?
This experiment can give you useful information about what you can comfortably afford while also helping you build savings for a future down payment, closing costs, moving expenses, or repairs.
It’s also a helpful reminder that qualifying for a mortgage and being financially ready to buy are two different things. A lender knows certain details about your financial life, but they don’t know how much you value travel, whether you want to change careers, how aggressively you want to save for retirement, or how much breathing room you personally need.
When figuring out your budget, make sure you’re looking beyond principal and interest. Your actual monthly housing costs could also include:
Property taxes
Homeowners insurance
PMI, if applicable
HOA fees, if applicable
Maintenance and repairs
Silas suggested setting aside roughly $200 per month for repairs and maintenance based on his own experience. Your costs will vary depending on the home, its age, and where you live, but the larger lesson matters more than the exact number: Your mortgage shouldn’t consume every dollar you can technically devote to housing.
When is the right time to buy a home?
Interest rates and home prices matter, but waiting for the universe to flash a giant neon BUY NOW sign isn’t a realistic strategy.
One of the most useful ideas from our conversation was the difference between trying to time the market and choosing a time that works for your life. Before buying, it may be more useful to ask:
Does this payment comfortably fit into my current budget?
Do I have savings beyond what I’ll need to close on the home?
Can I reasonably see myself staying in this area for several years?
Do I actually want the lifestyle that comes with owning a home?
If those pieces line up, they may tell you more than trying to predict exactly where rates or home prices will go next.
That also means being careful about buying a house you can only afford if you refinance later. Refinancing can create meaningful breathing room when rates fall enough to make the costs worthwhile — Silas shared that refinancing his own mortgage saved him around $1,000 per month — but future rates are never guaranteed.
Ideally, the mortgage you’re agreeing to today should work with your budget today. A future refinance can be an opportunity, not something your entire financial plan depends on.
And if the numbers work but you’re still scared, get specific about what you’re afraid of. Past experiences can heavily influence what feels financially safe. If you watched people in your family struggle to sell homes, lose money, or feel trapped by homeownership, buying may feel inherently risky even if your circumstances and local housing market are very different.
Instead of trying to convince yourself not to be scared, ask: What am I actually worried will happen? How realistic is that risk in my situation? Is there anything I could do to reduce it?
You may decide renting is still the better fit. Or you may realize you’re more interested in buying than you thought. You don’t need to eliminate every ounce of fear before making a big financial decision — but you do need to understand your fear well enough to make sure it isn’t making the decision for you.
TL;DR
Renting isn’t automatically throwing money away. Buying and renting both come with costs, benefits, and tradeoffs.
Prioritize what you can’t easily change. Location, commute, and community may matter more long term than cosmetic details.
Test-drive the payment. If you might buy someday, practice paying your estimated future housing costs now and save the difference.
Mortgage approval isn’t the same as affordability. Leave room for taxes, insurance, maintenance, repairs, and the rest of your life.
You don’t have to perfectly time the market. Focus on whether buying works for your finances, plans, and lifestyle.
✨ Resources ✨
Connect with Silas:
Website: https://silasgetsreal.com/
This content is for educational purposes only and is not personalized financial, tax, or legal advice.
