How emotions affect your money decisions with Simone Griffin Taylor / 81
Have you ever felt guilty about buying a $4 coffee, then turned around and spent $200 on something else without thinking twice?
Or found yourself stuck on a financial mistake you made years ago, even though you'd immediately forgive a friend for doing the exact same thing?
If so, you're not bad with money. You're human.
In this week's episode, we sat down with financial wellness coach Simone Griffin-Taylor to talk about something that doesn't get nearly enough attention in personal finance: emotions.
Most money advice focuses on what you should do:
Save more.
Spend less.
Pay off debt.
Invest consistently.
But that advice often skips over an important question: Why do we make the money decisions we make in the first place?
Because whether we realize it or not, our finances are deeply tied to our emotions, values, experiences, and the stories we've been telling ourselves for years.
Episode highlights
[03:00] Why emotions influence nearly every financial decision we make
[05:00] How shame shows up in our money lives—and how to recognize it
[08:30] The difference between "I made a mistake" and "I am bad with money"
[12:00] Why self-compassion can be a powerful financial tool
[17:00] The danger of comparing your financial life to someone else's timeline
[20:00] Simone's framework for reconnecting with your financial intuition
[24:00] How to identify your core values and use them to guide money decisions
[30:00] Why two people can share the same values but spend money very differently
[35:00] What people judge themselves for financially that is actually completely normal
[39:00] Cassidy's surprisingly strong opinions about Kleenex and coat hangers
[43:00] How old money stories continue to influence our spending decisions
The difference between making a mistake and being a mistake
One of the most powerful ideas from our conversation was Simone's distinction between guilt and shame.
Guilt says, "I made a mistake."
Shame says, "I am the mistake."
At first glance, that might sound like a small difference. In practice, it changes everything.
Let's say you overspend one month. Maybe you put a vacation on a credit card. Maybe you ignored your budget. Maybe you bought something that seemed like a great idea at the time and now lives in the back of a closet.
Guilt says, "Okay, that wasn't my best moment. What can I learn from it?"
Shame says, "See? This is why you'll never be good with money."
One response creates room for growth, and the other keeps you stuck.
It's something we see all the time in personal finance. People aren't necessarily struggling because they made a mistake. They're struggling because they've turned that mistake into part of their identity.
The truth is that everyone makes money mistakes. The people who eventually feel confident with money aren't the ones who never mess up. They're the ones who stop treating every mistake as evidence that something is wrong with them.
Sometimes we're chasing goals we don't actually want
Another part of this conversation that really stuck with us was Simone's reminder that many financial goals are inherited.
Somewhere along the way, most of us absorb ideas about what a successful life is supposed to look like.
You should buy a house.
You should reach a certain income.
You should have a certain amount saved by a certain age.
You should, you should, you should.
The problem is that those goals aren't always ours.
One of the simplest but most useful questions Simone asks her clients is: "Is that actually true?"
Do you want the house because homeownership is important to you? Or because everyone around you seems to be buying one?
Do you want the promotion because the work excites you? Or because it feels like the next thing you're supposed to do?
Do you want that purchase because it aligns with your values? Or because somebody else made it look appealing?
There's nothing wrong with wanting any of those things. But it's worth making sure they're your goals before you spend years pursuing them.
Why your values matter more than your budget categories
When people hear the phrase "spending in alignment with your values," it can sound a little abstract.
But the examples Simone shared made it incredibly practical.
Travel is one of her core values. Not because it looks impressive on social media, but because experiencing different cultures genuinely brings her joy and fulfillment.
Because she knows that about herself, she can confidently spend money on travel while saying no to other things.
Meanwhile, Cassidy talked about how freedom is one of her core values. For her, that shows up as financial independence and the ability to support herself.
Emily talked about adventure and spending time outdoors.
What's interesting is that all three examples require money. But the spending looks completely different because the underlying value is different.
That's why personal finance advice can sometimes feel frustrating. Someone else's perfect spending plan might be completely wrong for you.
But personal finance isn’t about copying someone else's priorities — it’s about understanding your own.
The Kleenex story that explains personal finance better than most money books
Toward the end of the episode, Cassidy shared something that made all three of us laugh.
For years, she resisted buying Kleenex because some old frugal part of her brain had decided Kleenex was an unnecessary luxury.
At the exact same time, she had no problem spending much more money supporting local artists at an art fair.
From the outside, that doesn't make much sense. But money decisions are rarely just about the amount of money involved. They're about the stories, meaning, and values attached to that money.
Once you start paying attention to those stories, a lot of your financial habits suddenly become easier to understand.
TL;DR
If you're constantly beating yourself up about money, the problem might not be your budget.
It might be the story you're telling yourself.
This conversation is a reminder that personal finance isn't just about numbers. It's about understanding yourself.
The more curious you become about your values, emotions, habits, and beliefs, the easier it becomes to make financial decisions that actually feel good—not just financially, but emotionally too.
Resources
Connect with Simone: affluencereimagined.com
Follow Simone on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/simone-griffin/
This content is for educational purposes only and should not be considered personalized financial, legal, or tax advice.
