Does money buy happiness? Let’s talk about it (re-release) / 79
This episode was previously available exclusively to our paid subscribers and is now being released to all listeners. We’re excited to share it with all the girlies out there!
“Money isn't everything” — it’s one of those phrases you probably grew up hearing. Usually, it comes from a good place: a reminder that relationships, health, and experiences matter more than status or material things.
But if you've ever struggled to pay rent, stressed over an unexpected expense, or wondered how you'll ever save for retirement, you've probably realized that the phrase leaves out an important detail.
Money may not be everything, but it touches almost everything.
In this week’s podcast episode and this blog post, we unpack where “money isn’t everything” comes from, why it can feel frustrating, and how to think about money in a way that balances ambition, contentment, and financial security.
Episode highlights
[00:00] Cassidy’s recent conversation that sparked this episode
[01:45] Why Hallmark movies reinforce the “money vs. happiness” myth
[03:30] Our first low-paying jobs out of college
[05:00] Where the phrase “money isn’t everything” comes from
[09:30] Where this phrase becomes unhelpful
[11:45] Case study: America's Sweethearts
[13:30] Case study: Maid
[14:30] What it's like to live on $25k vs. $25 million
[16:30] Cassidy's anchor point: how where she grew up affected her perceptions of money
[22:30] What is money, actually? Money as security vs. money as status
[27:45] Real stories: taking pay cuts for happiness (and regrets)
[31:00] Our personal experiences earning more through freelancing
[32:30] How to find your “enough” number
Why “money isn't everything” is a complicated idea
A lot of us have been taught that if we want more money, we must be chasing status, being ungrateful, or focusing on the wrong things. The message is often subtle, but it sounds something like:
"You already have a good job/life/salary. Why isn't that enough?"
The problem is that wanting more money isn't always about wanting more stuff.
Sometimes it's about wanting less stress and more abundance.
It's about wanting an emergency fund so a surprise car repair doesn't ruin your month. It's about wanting enough breathing room to take a vacation, pay off debt, or save for retirement without feeling like you're constantly behind.
You can be grateful for what you have and still want more stability — those two things aren't mutually exclusive.
In fact, many of us struggle because we're trying to hold both realities at once. We know we're fortunate in some ways, but we also know that our current income isn't supporting the life we want to build.
The difference between chasing status and building security
When people criticize the pursuit of money, they're usually talking about money as a status symbol. They're thinking about bigger houses, luxury purchases, keeping up with other people, or the pressure to constantly want more. In that context, it's easy to agree that money isn't everything.
But for many people, that's not what the pursuit of money is about at all.
A lot of people aren't trying to earn more because they want a luxury lifestyle. They're trying to earn more because they're worried about covering unexpected expenses, saving for retirement, paying for healthcare, or having enough flexibility to leave a job that isn't working for them anymore.
That's a very different goal.
Financial security might mean having an emergency fund, paying bills without stress, supporting people you love, or knowing that a setback won't completely derail your finances. Those goals have very little to do with impressing anyone else. They're about creating stability and giving yourself more options.
When you look at money through that lens, the conversation starts to shift. The question becomes less about whether money buys happiness and more about how financial security can support the kind of life you want to build.
What money and happiness research actually tells us
The question of whether money buys happiness has been studied for decades, and the answer is, unsurprisingly, nuanced.
Research finds a correlation between income and happiness, particularly when additional income helps people meet their needs and reduces financial stress. That's not especially surprising when you think about it. Someone who is constantly worried about rent, groceries, debt payments, or medical bills is probably going to be happier when those worries go away.
Money doesn't solve every problem, but it can remove some very real sources of stress. It can provide a safety net when things go wrong, create more flexibility in your life, and make it easier to plan for the future.
However, money only leads to happiness up to a point. Research also suggests there are diminishing returns. Once your needs are met and you have enough money to support your priorities, each additional dollar tends to have less impact on overall happiness than the dollars that came before it.
In other words, having enough income to support the life you want without financial stress can make you happier. But pursuing more for the sake of more probably won’t — at least, not forever.
How to find your "enough" number
If you’re not careful, it's really easy to spend years chasing a moving target. You hit one income goal, and suddenly there's another. (And another, and another.)
So instead of asking what your next financial target is, try asking a different question:
What amount of money would give me the security and abundance I truly want?
AKA: What would allow me to pay my bills, save for the future, enjoy my life, be generous, and sleep well at night?
You can think of this as your "enough" number.
A helpful place to start is looking at:
Your monthly expenses
Retirement contributions
Savings goals
Debt payoff goals
The things that genuinely make your life better, whether that's travel, hobbies, giving, or something else entirely
From there, try creating three numbers:
Your minimum number: What you need to comfortably cover the essentials.
Your comfortable number: What allows you to save, plan ahead, and enjoy life without constantly stressing about money.
Your dream number: What would give you additional flexibility, freedom, or opportunities.
Knowing your "enough" number gives you a useful reference point as your financial life evolves. It can help you make decisions based on your own goals rather than whatever benchmark happens to be in front of you.
To be clear: Your income goals may grow over time, and there's nothing wrong with wanting more for yourself. The value of this exercise is having a clearer understanding of what you're working toward — and why.
When financial goals are tied to the life you want to build, it's easier to make choices that are intentional instead of driven by comparison.
TL;DR
The conversation around money often gets stuck on status when many people are actually seeking security.
Wanting more money doesn't automatically mean you're chasing luxury or trying to impress anyone.
Research suggests money can improve quality of life, especially when it reduces financial stress and creates more options.
Defining your own version of "enough" can help you make decisions based on your values instead of comparison.
Money isn't the destination. It's a tool that can help support the life you want to build.
This content is for educational purposes only and should not be considered personalized financial, legal, or tax advice.
