House hunting to homeowner: Emily’s real-life homebuying story / 96
Maybe buying a house has been part of your plan forever. Or maybe, like Emily, you were pretty convinced you’d keep renting — until something changed.
That shift doesn’t necessarily happen because you reach a certain age or finally hit a magical number in your savings account. You might find a community where you want to put down roots, realize you want more control over your space, or notice that buying has started to look more realistic in your local housing market. Sometimes, your life simply looks different than it did when you decided renting made the most sense.
If buying a home has recently moved from absolutely not to maybe…?, you also don’t need to know exactly what you’re doing yet. The first-time home buying process comes with a lot of decisions, but you can take them one at a time — and some of the conventional “rules” around buying a home are more flexible than they seem.
Episode highlights
[00:00] Why Emily and her husband decided they were ready to buy after previously planning to rent for years
[04:00] Emily’s first steps, including comparing lenders, getting pre-qualified, and finding a realtor
[08:30] How long the home buying process took, how many houses Emily toured, and how many offers she made
[12:30] How Emily knew she’d found the right house and why location became such an important priority
[15:00] The compromises Emily made on her wish list — and why none felt like major sacrifices
[17:30] Why Emily felt comfortable putting less than 20% down, paying PMI, and keeping more cash in savings
[19:30] How Emily compared different mortgage options and chose a 30-year conventional loan
[23:30] The expenses that came up after closing, plus how Emily feels about homeownership now that she’s moved in
Start with what you actually want from homeownership
There are plenty of financial calculations involved in buying a home, but your decision doesn’t have to start with a mortgage calculator. Before getting into interest rates and down payments, it can help to ask a more basic question: Why do I want to buy?
For Emily and her husband, the answer changed after they moved from an apartment into a standalone rental house. They loved having outdoor space, room for gardening and woodworking, and more freedom to make the space their own. They had also moved to a community where they could picture staying long term. At the same time, their rent had increased, while home prices in their new area were more attainable than where they had previously lived.
Your reasons may look completely different. What matters is understanding what you hope homeownership will add to your life — because buying isn’t automatically the right next financial milestone.
Before you start scrolling listings, consider:
How long can I realistically see myself living in this area?
What do I want from a home that I’m not getting from renting?
Would owning fit the way I want to spend my time and money?
Am I comfortable taking responsibility for repairs and maintenance?
There’s nothing wrong with deciding you’d rather keep renting. But if your answers are pulling you toward buying, you can start gathering information without committing to a house tomorrow.
You can start before you feel completely ready
One of the most intimidating parts of buying your first home is figuring out what you’re supposed to do first. Do you save more? Find a realtor? Talk to a lender? Figure out which mortgage you want?
You don’t have to solve all of it alone.
When Emily and her husband got serious about buying, they contacted three lenders and got pre-qualified with two. Those conversations helped them understand what types of loans they might qualify for and how different home prices could translate into monthly payments. They also found a realtor before they expected to start seriously touring homes.
Talking to a lender doesn’t require you to already know which mortgage is right for you. In fact, Emily found that comparing loan types on her own was difficult without someone looking at their specific financial information. Their lender explained the tradeoffs among options such as conventional and USDA loans, and they chose a 30-year conventional mortgage based on what made sense for their circumstances.
This is also why it can be worth talking to more than one lender. Beyond comparing the numbers, pay attention to whether someone answers your questions clearly and makes sure you understand what you’re agreeing to.
Decide what you’ll compromise on before you fall in love with a house
Unless you have an unlimited budget and an unusually cooperative housing market, there’s a good chance your eventual home won’t check every box. While it can be crucial to compromise, you also need to compromise on the right things.
For Emily, location became one of the things she and her husband cared about most. At one point, they were considering a lovely house that checked nearly every box but sat slightly outside their preferred area. Then another house appeared in the location they really wanted. It wasn’t quite as cute and didn’t have every feature on their wish list, but it fit their life better.
Their eventual compromises included no garage, no mudroom, a smaller footprint, and a few other little things. But they felt manageable because they didn’t interfere with the priorities that mattered most.
As you build your own wish list, try dividing it into three categories:
Must-haves: Things that would meaningfully affect whether the home works for your life.
Nice-to-haves: Features you’d enjoy but could comfortably live without.
Change-later items: Paint, finishes, storage, landscaping, or other features you could potentially update over time.
A gorgeous kitchen can be persuasive, but try to zoom out. You can repaint cabinets. You can’t move the entire house five miles down the road.
Think beyond the 20% down payment rule
If you’ve absorbed the idea that you need 20% down before you can buy a house, that number can make homeownership feel very far away.
Emily and her husband bought with less than 20% down and pay private mortgage insurance, or PMI, as part of their monthly housing costs. For them, accepting that additional cost was worth being able to jump on the right home in their highly competitive real estate market.
They also wanted money left in savings after closing. That became an important part of their decision because buying a home doesn’t make unexpected expenses disappear — it just means the landlord is no longer the person paying for them.
When deciding how much to put down, look beyond the percentage itself. Consider the resulting monthly payment, any PMI you may owe, how much cash you’ll have left after closing, and whether your remaining emergency savings feel sufficient for your situation.
Putting more down can have real financial advantages, but draining your savings just to reach 20% may not be the tradeoff you want to make. This is an area where running multiple scenarios with your lender can be especially helpful.
Your home-buying budget shouldn’t end at closing
It’s easy to focus so heavily on the down payment and closing costs that everything after getting the keys becomes an afterthought.
But houses need things.
In Emily’s case, the inspection had already flagged a sliding door that would need to be replaced, and she knew the furnace was older. After moving in, she and her husband also dealt with a smoky smell by applying odor-blocking primer throughout the interior — which then turned into the much larger project of repainting most of the house.
Not every expense will be urgent, and not every imperfection needs to be fixed the minute you move in. Still, having money available can give you more flexibility when the first repair, replacement, or “wait, we need to buy that too?” expense arrives.
That’s also a good reason to think about affordability as more than whether you can technically make the mortgage payment. A home that leaves some room in your budget can make the realities of ownership much easier to absorb.
A few weeks into owning her home, Emily felt good about the choice. Her housing costs had grown over the years, but having a comfortable home in a community she loved was something she and her husband had consciously decided was worth spending more on.
That’s the part of home buying that no universal formula can decide for you. Your home is both a major financial commitment and the place where a significant portion of your life happens. So instead of following someone else’s perfect home-buying timeline, you should understand your numbers, acknowledge the tradeoffs, and decide whether buying fits the life you want to build.
TL;DR
Buying a home doesn’t have to be your next milestone just because it seems like the thing you’re “supposed” to do.
You can talk to lenders and realtors while you’re still gathering information; you don’t need to understand every part of the process first.
Separate your must-haves from features you can compromise on or change later.
You don’t necessarily need 20% down, but a smaller down payment can affect costs like your monthly payment and PMI.
Keep some financial breathing room for the repairs, maintenance, and projects that can come after closing.
✨ Resources ✨
Episode 95 of The Finance Girlies with Silas Lindenstein
This content is for educational purposes only and is not personalized financial, tax, or legal advice.
